I’m turning 40 this Could and it’s alarming how rapidly the final decade of my life glided by. I bear in mind earlier than I turned 20 how slowly the years handed. As quickly as I turned 30, it felt as if the years shifted into warp pace, flying by so rapidly that I can barely bear in mind what occurred when. I don’t really feel any negativity about getting into my 40s. My 30’s had been completely unbelievable. They pushes me, they stretched me they usually taught me greater than another decade. In my 30s I left my 9-5 job as a Physician of Bodily Remedy directing a clinic in Harlem to changing into a full-time content material creator. I had 3 severe relationships together with a reside in boyfriend. I turned a millionaire and determined to maneuver to Miami the place I’d reside part-time. I purchased my first property, a townhouse a couple of blocks from the ocean. In my 30’s I actually got here into my very own. I discovered myself, my triggers and my passions. I grew to like myself inside and outside. I took the time to look after my thoughts and my physique reducing out stress and pointless negativity. I’m trying ahead to my 40s assuming they may even be nothing lower than wonderful as a result of I’ve set myself up for achievement. I’m completely satisfied for the possibility to become old and I’m happy with myself for not compromising my morals and my dignity to get so far in my life. Though, I nonetheless get a rogue remark once in a while that I’m outdated, ageing out of my career and with no mans, I don’t suppose any of these issues are literally unhealthy issues. Some persons are simply uncomfortable with ageing and society has all the pieces to do with that and other people shopping for into that narrative.
Life within the Age of Social Media within the Public Eye
I’m going to allow you to in on just a little secret…I by no means got down to be within the public eye. I simply needed folks to learn what I wrote. I wrote for my school newspaper. I began this very weblog in 2010 out of my sheer enjoyment of writing and having folks learn and luxuriate in my phrases and be capable to join and resonate by means of shared experiences. One of many greatest compliments anybody may give me is that they cherished my writing, adopted intently by complimenting my perfume or odor. I’m a Taurus in spite of everything and we’re all in regards to the senses. My weblog acquired greater after which Instagram was born and I believed it could be an effective way to promote my writing. That slowly morphed into what it’s immediately. However I by no means got down to be recognized and I wasn’t ready to reside my life within the public eye. I didn’t need the scrutiny that got here with that. Are you able to wrap your head round 200 folks a day telling you what you ought to put on, the way you ought to look, the way you ought to converse, what coiffure really fits you, what work you ought to get finished, what merchandise you ought to use..each single day of your life.
It’s sufficient to make even the strongest most confident individual crack into 1,000,000 items of their former self. It’s what drives some up and coming content material creators to need to fade away into obscurity. Social Media is a present however there’s a darkish underside that most individuals by no means expertise. Those that succeed need to one way or the other deal with the problem of remaining true to themselves regardless of the criticism, critiques and unsolicited recommendation. Growing older within the public eye is not any completely different. I do know I don’t look my age. To some, I in all probability don’t gown my age both. I don’t have most issues {that a} lady my age in immediately’s society are presupposed to have (a husband & youngsters) and I enjoy that. I’m a little bit of a insurgent, what can I say. I march to the beat of my very own drum. I’m now snug dwelling my life my method for everybody to see as a result of it supplies one other narrative of what a girl CAN be and CAN do, even when it’s not the societal norm. I’m completely satisfied to be an outlier. I’ll go away this earth the identical method I got here in it. I didn’t succumb to the pressures to be good, to get veneers, to get my physique finished, to get botox. No shade… I don’t really feel the necessity to ever increase myself as a result of I’m proud of what God gave me and what God gave me, acquired me right here.
How Did I Get Right here?
Now, I didn’t get to this place in life on objective. Did I feel at 30 years of age that at 40 I’d be childless and single? No, I didn’t. I like everybody else was offered the dream. That the right man would come alongside and I’d reside fortunately ever after. I’m completely positive that if I needed to be, I may have had youngsters and in addition married however truthfully, I simply by no means met somebody that I believed was value being with long run nor procreating with. My relationships have been marred by dishonest spouses and normal incompatibility. Not saying that these issues put me off however I spotted I most popular a extra non-stressful way of life. I’d a lot fairly be alone than to be careworn in any capability a few relationship. I turned superb at trimming the fats off my life in my 30s and standing agency on my boundaries. As I breezed by means of my 30s my buddies began falling away into 3 classes: married, married with youngsters and single. I do know there are nice marriages on the market and nice males on the market, however my single girlfriends are simply as completely satisfied as my buddies who’re in good marriages.
However the majority of my buddies who’re married, particularly these with youngsters, are going by means of it. I’ve been informed on quite a few events NOT to have youngsters. However it’s not even that recommendation that makes me suppose twice, it’s the truth that I thrive on my own. Possibly that’s egocentric however I totally take pleasure in my very own firm. I don’t really feel the necessity to at all times have somebody to do issues with. I’ll journey on my own, dine on my own and dance on my own. Individuals mistake being by themselves with being alone and lonely. I’m hardly lonely. I’ve a really full life. I even have the liberty to choose up and do what ever I please. Which to me, is without doubt one of the final luxuries in life. I’m undecided if I’d need to disrupt that aspect of my life particularly with all the pieces occurring on the earth right now. I’m slowly nearing an age the place youngsters can be off the desk for me. Maybe at some point I’ll get married however I don’t know any greater than you do. However I do love youngsters and have fairly a little bit of them in my life with nephews and nieces that I’m completely satisfied I may give again to their dad and mom. The years glided by and though I had relationships in my 30s nothing a lot got here from them. Possibly it is going to be completely different in my 40s after I can focus extra on that facet of my life and benefit from the enterprise I’ve constructed for myself.
So What’s Subsequent?
My subsequent act in life will certainly contain writing and trend however on a special scale. I may be a content material creator perpetually although. I’ve seen trend influencers of their 50s, 60s hell, even 70s killing it and nonetheless being related within the world trend dialog. The identical individuals who adopted me 10 years in the past are nonetheless following me and in addition ageing with me. Thus, I’ll at all times have an viewers and I do know that the work that I do transcends age. It’s extra about sharing my life and experiences and people issues know no age. So I’m not apprehensive about ageing out of full-time content material creation or reserving jobs. Let’s not neglect most girls my age have disposable incomes and are searching for the issues to spend money on whether or not that’s trend or journey. In case you thought any completely different, I need to reiterate that I’m essentially the most content material that I’ve ever been in my complete life. I really feel completely satisfied, grateful, fulfilled and enthusiastic about what this subsequent decade in life will deliver. I nonetheless have massive goals and massive targets and I plan on reaching each single one. The foremost lesson my 30s taught me is that I’m dwelling my life for me and never for anybody else. I’ve to make this one of the best life ever as a result of it’s the one one I get. So nobody aside from God and I, will get to have a say in the way it ought to be. Do your self a favor and tune out the ought to folks in your life. They are going to have you ever doubting your self and considering that they’ve finished life twice, as a substitute of for the primary time. Should you occur to be older, single and childless simply know there could be happiness in that. Don’t let society let you know there’s one thing flawed with you. The identical goes if you happen to’re happiest with a companion and it’s been your lifelong dream to have youngsters. Solely YOU know what’s good for you and what a cheerful life appears like for you. I’m on my strategy to being 40 and fabulous darlings…and we’re going to have fun!
xx
Monroe
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