It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever guide, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is offered for pre-order! Right here!
An precise guide that it is possible for you to to carry in your palms. Or, when you favor my dulcet tones, hearken to along with your ears. You’ve beloved my revealing life updates, over time, and also you’ve diligently learn by my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind after I nearly by accident penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, after I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to change into an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.
You may name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my reminiscences and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very critical. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my guide within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.
And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embrace a narrative about by accident happening a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir usually have a chapter referred to as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it could not.
So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set prior to now, however don’t make the error of considering that any painful soul-searching went into this guide. Let’s not get the flawed finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it received to the insufferable bits: this can be a rip-roaring riot of a journey by a decade of the unbelievable eventualities and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and often ridiculous.
Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel
OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. In actual fact I used to be particularly informed, after I received the guide deal, that I needed to embrace the bits that may create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to the entire components that may doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.
However largely this can be a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods by which I did not change into a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my character defects and my spectacular capability to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any scenario.
You’ll be able to pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I believe it’s a reasonably secure wager that you simply’ll adore it. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so when you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I put up then please make it this one. I’ll be eternally in your debt.
Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel right here
I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the guide and concerning the means of writing it as a result of it has actually been the very best, most satisfying factor I’ve ever achieved in my grownup life. If you happen to’ve adopted me for some time then you definately’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really completely satisfied accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve an excellent and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a guide deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.
*optimistically
**as correct as attainable. Largely correct. Considerably correct.
***I used to be pressured to supply this quote myself, as a result of it’s too early to get one off one other author but. I attempted to maintain it refined and fashionable.
****actually, the variety of individuals I needed to sleep with.
